Cunt

That's right, I said it on national tv this morning. And no Cindy, I wasn't talking to you...this time.



Doesn't get more Maverick than that.

Someone hire this guy

I'm not sure who this dipshit Jesse Taylor is, but he's got some good material.

You wonder why McCain/Palin supporters feel like they can go to rallies and talk about Obama being a Jew-bought Islamic radical cokehead forced abortionist communist?

"Jew-bought Islamic radical cokehead forced abortionist commie?"

You know, that just might catch on...

Time to bust out some Maverick

I know I'm down in the polls. I know the outlook for the election doesn't look good. I know my campaign staff is freeeeaking the fuck out.

So it's time that The Original Maverick dropped some honest-to-goodness, Grade-A Maverick on your ass. Here's my plan:

AT TOMORROW NIGHTS DEBATE, THE ORIGINAL MAVERICK WILL ENDORSE BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT!!

That's right. You didn't mishear that. Tomorrow I will endorse Barack Obama for president.

God I'm good. Broder's gonna cream in his pants once he hears this one. You can't get more bi-partisan than endorsing your opponent.

THE ORIGINAL MAVERICK IS BACK, BITCHES!!

Enemies all around

What the fuck is going on here?? First that conniving piece of rat-shit Kristol turns on me. The negative ads aren't working??? Are you fucking kidding me, you smug cocksucker???? YOU'RE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO TOLD ME TO RUN THOSE ADS IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!!!

As if that wasn't bad enough. Now I'm hearing rumors that even Snowbilly Sarah is talking shit about me. I gave that faithless little cunt the chance of a lifetime and now she's stabbing me in the back??? Who the hell does this dumbfuck broad think she is anyway???? Jesus H. motherfucking Christ!! She is one nasty whore. She makes Hillary look like a fucking girl scout.

Well if she thinks I'm just going to bend over and take it up the ass with a fucking grin on my face, she's got another thing coming, my friends. I'm going to shit on her so bad that when this is over she won't be able to get elected Wasilla dog-catcher.

YOU HEAR ME, YOU IGNORANT CUNT??? YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKING MAVERICK.

UPDATE: Another one turns. Hey, Charlie, why don't you and Larry Craig go blow each other.

Lower forms of life

You can't see it, but this woman is so butt-fucking-ugly that I visibly shuddered when she stood up.



I don't know if she was retarded or deformed or both. And her breath was so bad I almost projectile vomited in her face when she started talking.

God I can't stand the genetic rejects that attend these fucking rallies. I can't believe I actually have to interact with these lower forms of life. There's a fucking reason I live in a gated community. I wouldn't even want these people mopping my basement floor.

How much longer until November 4?? Three more fucking weeks??? Christ almighty I need a scotch.

Ratfink cowards

Jesus H. fucking Christ. When did the Republican Party get so full of ratfink cowards? Norm Coleman doesn't want to be seen with me?? The RNC is going to pull their presidential advertising??? IS THIS SOME KIND OF FUCKING JOKE??? I didn't hear any whining when they were calling John Kerry a lying frenchified pussy four years ago. That poor luckless bastard took shrapnel in Nam for his fucking country and they had no problem ratfucking him until his goddamn ass bled. But now that I'm attacking The One, their panties get all bunched up and they go into a fucking swoon. Un-fucking-believable.

And who does this first-class asshole Norm Coleman think he is anyway. He doesn't want to be seen with ME?? Is he fucking kidding? I don't want to be within twenty feet of that half-queer cocksucker. You think Neiman Marcus suits are the only "perks" he's been getting from that A-rab friend of his? Let's just put it this way: Larry Craig wasn't the only one getting blowjobs in the Minneapolis airport.

These motherfuckers can try to run from me all they want. But it's too fucking late. I'm going to take them down with me, whether they like it or not.

You just don't get it

Earth to crybaby pussies: I don't give a flying fuck how history will judge me. I don't give a shit if the mouthbreathing semi-retarded rageoholics who attend my campaign events leave my rallies and start riots in the streets. If I'm going to lose this election, I'm taking my reputation, the Republican Party, and the entire fucking country with me. The American people shat on me eight years ago, and now I'm getting my payback.

The Original Maverick doesn't forget, cocksuckers!